My life feels like it is spiraling further and further down into oblivion... And I am the reason why.
Right now, I feel lonely, desperate, and like a wild animal backed into a corner, with no way out.
First, what has led up to this point in time. I am stubborn, to a point. I give when I feel it is needed, but when I am asked to give too much, I break. I have relationship troubles with every relationship I have ever been in, even friendships. I don't even realize it until it is done... Am I afraid to get close to someone? yes, I will admit to that aspect. VERY afraid. Afraid I'll get hurt again, or even worse, I may hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, not anymore. It has never been done intentionally. It happens. It appears that I am one very difficult person to deal with, and no one has the power or the strength to want to stay with me, except for my friends. And even some of them don't stay around very long...
I am so afraid, and so alone.... And I have no one to fall back on, to talk to or to confide in. I used to, but she has enough problems of her own, she doesn't need to listen to mine. No one needs to hear my problems.
Tonight, I lost a very dear friend to me. It deeply hurt me to see her go like she did. I did everything I could to keep her by my side, but she chose not to stay. I cause too much drama for her... I pushed her away as well as everyone else..
My mind is full of clutter right now, and I am so afraid....
Right now, I feel lonely, desperate, and like a wild animal backed into a corner, with no way out.
First, what has led up to this point in time. I am stubborn, to a point. I give when I feel it is needed, but when I am asked to give too much, I break. I have relationship troubles with every relationship I have ever been in, even friendships. I don't even realize it until it is done... Am I afraid to get close to someone? yes, I will admit to that aspect. VERY afraid. Afraid I'll get hurt again, or even worse, I may hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, not anymore. It has never been done intentionally. It happens. It appears that I am one very difficult person to deal with, and no one has the power or the strength to want to stay with me, except for my friends. And even some of them don't stay around very long...
I am so afraid, and so alone.... And I have no one to fall back on, to talk to or to confide in. I used to, but she has enough problems of her own, she doesn't need to listen to mine. No one needs to hear my problems.
Tonight, I lost a very dear friend to me. It deeply hurt me to see her go like she did. I did everything I could to keep her by my side, but she chose not to stay. I cause too much drama for her... I pushed her away as well as everyone else..
My mind is full of clutter right now, and I am so afraid....
