Hello! I know it's been a while since I last posted, but I am going to try and keep writing this thing at least once a week. I have needed to write before now, but never had the time or energy to do it. What I am writing about today is Love, relationships, and how I feel. It makes me feel better to write about it, rather than keep it inside.
Have you ever had that one person you could not get out of your head? That one person that made you feel so good inside, that you could not see yourself without them, for whatever reason? I have that problem now, and it really sucks, because I can't tell if she feels the same way or not... She TELLS me she does, but her actions do not show it at all. Makes me wonder WHY she wants to keep me in her life, when she seems to have moved on pretty well. I have tried to remove her from my life so that I could move on, but she always comes back wanting me close to her... But she has a boyfriend, and I can't see myself as "just a friend" to her this soon after her and I broke up.
The reason her and I broke up was because of several reasons, and I'm not going to blame them all on her. I did my fair share of things, trust me. We used to keep in contact every single day, see each other online every single day, talk to each other every single day. When her and I first met a few years ago, it was as friends, and friends only. Neither one of us had ever thought to talk to each other and find out that we had a liking for each other. This year, after a period of separation from each other, we started talking to each other again, and we both found out that we liked each other more than as just friends. The biggest hurdle we have, is that we live several states away, but within a fairly reasonable driving distance, if either one decided to move to be with the other for good.
We met online thru FaceBook. We became good friends thru talking with each other. We became fairly close as friends, then there was an incident involving other people that resulted in us losing contact with each other. I always thought about her, always wanted to call her or message her, to see how she was doing, because I was worried about her. This year, we finally started talking again, and things took off with us. I was able to get a way up to see her in person, so that we both could be sure that we were compatible, and while I was there with her, I felt so at home, it didn't even seem like I had left... I felt so at home being there with her, I didn't want to leave, but I had to leave... Her and I would talk ALL day EVERY day after I came home, and the feelings I had for her grew so strong, I was not familiar with them, and I pushed her away.... There was a day where I was not able to talk to her, see her, or message her, and it drove me bonkers... We had been fighting during the week before that day, and after not being able to contact her, I realized that she was the one I was to be with... But it seemed as tho I was too late, because she had removed me as being her boyfriend on FB, and put herself into another relationship with some guy from across the globe... Yet, she still wanted to keep in touch with me...
I blocked her and removed her from all my accounts, so that she could move on with her new boyfriend, and I could move on to find someone else, but I wasn't exactly on the search for anyone... I always thought about her, was dreaming of her, missed talking to her, and seeing her... Then she contacted me thru a mutual friend... She missed me, she loved me, she wanted to be with me, but she was scared of getting hurt again...
I have explained to her how I felt, and what I wanted, and who I wanted to be with. But she doesn't believe me.. She still tries to keep in contact with me, and with her doing this, I can't move on myself... It really hurts, because I want to know exactly what is going on, because I feel I can't really move on unless there is true closure, and it feels like I am being strung along with no real answer... I feel so lost without answers...
Have you ever had that one person you could not get out of your head? That one person that made you feel so good inside, that you could not see yourself without them, for whatever reason? I have that problem now, and it really sucks, because I can't tell if she feels the same way or not... She TELLS me she does, but her actions do not show it at all. Makes me wonder WHY she wants to keep me in her life, when she seems to have moved on pretty well. I have tried to remove her from my life so that I could move on, but she always comes back wanting me close to her... But she has a boyfriend, and I can't see myself as "just a friend" to her this soon after her and I broke up.
The reason her and I broke up was because of several reasons, and I'm not going to blame them all on her. I did my fair share of things, trust me. We used to keep in contact every single day, see each other online every single day, talk to each other every single day. When her and I first met a few years ago, it was as friends, and friends only. Neither one of us had ever thought to talk to each other and find out that we had a liking for each other. This year, after a period of separation from each other, we started talking to each other again, and we both found out that we liked each other more than as just friends. The biggest hurdle we have, is that we live several states away, but within a fairly reasonable driving distance, if either one decided to move to be with the other for good.
We met online thru FaceBook. We became good friends thru talking with each other. We became fairly close as friends, then there was an incident involving other people that resulted in us losing contact with each other. I always thought about her, always wanted to call her or message her, to see how she was doing, because I was worried about her. This year, we finally started talking again, and things took off with us. I was able to get a way up to see her in person, so that we both could be sure that we were compatible, and while I was there with her, I felt so at home, it didn't even seem like I had left... I felt so at home being there with her, I didn't want to leave, but I had to leave... Her and I would talk ALL day EVERY day after I came home, and the feelings I had for her grew so strong, I was not familiar with them, and I pushed her away.... There was a day where I was not able to talk to her, see her, or message her, and it drove me bonkers... We had been fighting during the week before that day, and after not being able to contact her, I realized that she was the one I was to be with... But it seemed as tho I was too late, because she had removed me as being her boyfriend on FB, and put herself into another relationship with some guy from across the globe... Yet, she still wanted to keep in touch with me...
I blocked her and removed her from all my accounts, so that she could move on with her new boyfriend, and I could move on to find someone else, but I wasn't exactly on the search for anyone... I always thought about her, was dreaming of her, missed talking to her, and seeing her... Then she contacted me thru a mutual friend... She missed me, she loved me, she wanted to be with me, but she was scared of getting hurt again...
I have explained to her how I felt, and what I wanted, and who I wanted to be with. But she doesn't believe me.. She still tries to keep in contact with me, and with her doing this, I can't move on myself... It really hurts, because I want to know exactly what is going on, because I feel I can't really move on unless there is true closure, and it feels like I am being strung along with no real answer... I feel so lost without answers...
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